2016 Election Coverage

Right now there are a handful of Democratic hopefuls who have thrown their hat in the ring to run for president and about 7500 Republicans. Hillary Clinton is the clear front-runner on the Democratic side, followed by Bernie Sanders. Clinton’s top donors are Citigroup and Goldman Sachs. Sanders’ only takes union donations, so he’s doing well for a guy with a couple hundred bucks sleeping in an SUV with a magnet on the side with his name on it, at only 43% behind Clinton in some polls. Oh, and he has actual ideas and stuff, but nobody cares about that crap.

Recent polling shows pro-wrestling-manager Donald “The 10 Billion Dollar Man” Trump as the front runner for the GOP, followed by candidates who are actually running for president like Jeb Bush and Scott Walker. Trump’s positions include building a wall on the border of the United States and Mexico, just like China did in 700 BC, before people had boats, airplanes, shovels, dynamite, ladders, and an insatiable demand for cocaine and inexpensive labor. The Democrats are pulling for him.

It’s a long way away from the elections, and American voters are fickle. All it takes is a TV commercial that’s extra sparkly or a candidate who yells weird into a live microphone and millions of Americans will vote for someone else who goes against their interests in a hipper, more appealing way.

I’ll be a resident of the great state of Oklahoma next year, the first time I’ve ever lived in a state that is solid for either the red or the blue team (OK being red… everywhere else in the world means communist or socialist). So I’m going to vote for the candidate from the weirdest party I can find.

Consider dumping your cable service. Being cable TV-less for my whole adult life, I am the least annoyed person I know during election season.

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