Content warning: The post discusses making nutella out of my own shit

I operated a small farm for seven years so I am no stranger to producing local food. And what can be more local than producing food from your own asshole?

Inspired by this woman, who is making sourdough bread using yeast from her vagina, I thought about how I too could contribute to the culinary world while grossing people out and then acting surprised about it. I decided to use an orifice shared by every human be they male, female, or other. The asshole!

So far my recipe is looking, well, exactly like nutella.

Ingredients:

• 1 cup chocolate icing
• dash of powdered hazlenut
• 1 cup shit

Method:

• mix chocolate icing and hazlenut in a bowl
• grab newspaper or phone
• squat over bowl
• Mix the ingredients together
• Cover in foil, leave

This should be enough to spread over an entire loaf of vaginal yeast sourdough bread. Great for relatives who are supporting Donald Trump or Ben Carson for president!

Happy Thanksgiving!

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