Note: raw copy, not yet proofread, sure to be mistakes, will remove this note when cleaned up
Tomorrow, all over The United States of America, millions of Hee Haw extras will turn off whatever form of corporate propaganda they droll to, trim their goatees so their mouth looks like their mother’s hairy vagina, slap on a pair of Oakley wraparound dickface sunglasses, practice their jack-ass smirk, kick the corn out of their pre-distressed bootcut jeans, then get into a vehicle that’s obnoxious on purpose in some way. They will attempt to operate the vehicle. But they will fail. It will be a turn-signal-free, slow-in-the-left-lane, wait…wait..wait.. then-pull-out-from-a-side-street-just-before-oncoming-traffic-approaches-then-go-10-mph-under-the-speed-limit-so-the-car-behind-them-has-to-brake-to-avoid-rear-ending-them, not-knowing-when-to-go-at-a-4-way-stop, not-turning-their-headlights-on-in-the-dark, truck-nuts, bumper-stickers-advertising-their-own-brain-damage, not-knowing-a-green-arrow-pointing-left-means-you-can-turn-left, taking-a-full-6-seconds-between-the-time-they-take-their-foot-off-the-brake-and-place-it-on-the-accelerator, taking-upwards-of-half-a-minute-to-make-the-actual-turn ride to a polling place within walking distance. They will take up at least two spaces in the parking lot of a church or dilapidated public building to cast their vote for their king, the Orange King of All Douchebags. An illiterate, spoiled rich kid snake-oil salesman who is an obvious fraud with all the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder.
To explain Donald Trump to one of his enthusiastic supporters is like trying to explain to someone with a nose that shit stinks. You can either smell the orange turd on your dinner plate, or something is fucked up about your nose.
That Trump is terrible is obvious to anyone who has managed to dodge the onslaught of decades of anti-intellectualism and corporate propaganda, whose curiosity wasn’t grated down enough to educate themselves despite the refusal of the system to properly educate us since the 1970s. He’s a billionaire selling rebellion with his name on it like one of his shitty products. He’s the music industry selling”alternative music” in the 90s. “This isn’t the same old corporate crap,” they had unwitting stooges in Seattle bands tell us. Before you know it you have the worst corporate diarrhea ever created by the music industry, rednecks yarling all over the radio, labelled “alternative”.
Step aside Douche Savior from Creed, Donald Trump is the new Douche Savior of stupid white people, “rith arrrlms wad hope-reennn”.
As you can probably tell I’m not voting for him, because I am smart, or at the very least, not a total moron.
Sloover’s 2016 Election Endorsements for Tulsa County Oklahoma
For President/Vice President, US Senator, State Senator District 39, State Representative District 70, County Sheriff, County Court Clerk, and County Commissioner District No. 2: STRAIGHT DEMOCRATIC TICKET
There’s no fucking way you’re going to convince me to vote for Republicans and Libertarians in this state. Trickle-down urine economics and corporate control of resources is already causing motherfucking 5.0 earthquakes, oil pipeline spills, mass incarceration, deplorable education conditions, and poverty in Oklahoma. I want nothing to do with anyone aligned with these ideologies holding public office. In past elections I have voted for Republicans in local elections, but not this time, and not here. Oklahoma Republicans are all flagrant corporate whores. Governor Mary “the Joker” Fallin, with her whore makeup and vacant stare, has refused federal money for Medicaid, literally denying healthcare for millions of people in poverty. Fuck her. Senator Jim Inhofe threw a snowball on the floor of congress in Washington DC in the winter to prove climate change doesn’t exist. He’s a moron and a whore cocksucker to the oil industry who has lobbied against every EPA measure to protect our environment. James Inhofe should be drug out of his offices here in Tulsa, beaten with boards with rusty nails in them, tarred and feathered and marched through the Tulsa streets while children throw rocks at his penis, then dressed as a penis himself, then hung from the crotch of the Dickless Driller. And neither of those cunts are even running this time. But Fuck the Oklahoma Republican Party leadership. Fuck every one of them.
Now I will write about a few of my selections included in the my Straight Democratic Ticket vote……………
President/Vice President: HILLARY CLINTON AND TIM CAINE, A PROTEST VOTE IN THE REDDEST STATE IN THE UNION
According to FiveThirtyEight, Donald Trump has a 99.9% chance of defeating Hillary Clinton in Oklahoma. That means my vote for president, no matter who I vote for, literally doesn’t count and doesn’t matter. I’ve tried to explain this to idiots who support Hillary Clinton (Donald Trump doesn’t have a monopoly on idiots, there are enough uneducated people for every candidate in this country). But they don’t understand how the electoral college works. “Every vote matters!” No it doesn’t. Not when you’re in Oklahoma.
There’s no fucking way I’m voting for Gary Johnson. I’d pick Trump over him.
And the Green Party didn’t bother to get on the ballot here, or I would have voted for Jill Stein, who has an actual liberal ideology like Bernie Sanders. Bernie Sanders won in Oklahoma, a hipper state than Pennsylvania, where moderate conservative Hillary Clinton won.
Anyway I look forward to the Green Party’s big plans for 2017 when it’s not an election year. I’m sure their website might be updated a couple times. Maybe their Myspace page.
I also don’t have a write in option. One year ago I put out a video called “Why I Will Never Vote for Hillary Clinton”. I assumed I’d have some other option that was further to the left of her, or at least a write-in option here. Also I said in the video, I would vote for her in a swing state. Or whatever I’m a liar, who cares.
The first woman president is more than symbolic. I wish it was someone else. I wished Obama was someone else too. I knew he was funded by corporations and the defense industry. I knew he was going to continue mass murdering civilians in the middle east and continue funneling bailout money to Wall Street, just like his predecessor. But I remember Inauguration Day 2009. I lived on a farm in North Carolina. We had a rare, thick snowfall and the snow blanketed the rolling hills and made the woods beautiful, just like it does every winter in Pennsylvania where I’m from . And I walked out into the field with my dog Maggie and wept. The first black president was no joke, and I know I’ll feel the same about the first woman president.
That’s not why I’m voting for her though, I’m voting but it’s the least worst option. Just like Obama was, just like John Kerry. The election campaign is about personalities, but for me it’s about policy. Having an intact Environmental Protection Agency and a president we can push on climate change is better than having no Environmental Protection Agency, which Trump proposes, which would probably end any hope for curbing fossil fuel emissions and making the planet habitable for your grandchildren. Shitty foreign policy that we can fight her on is worse than insane foreign policy power wielded by an illiterate and manipulated by whatever dictator gets to him first. Obamacare we can push her into moving toward single payer is better than whatever insane corporate model a Republican congress and executive would concoct.
We, the left, bought into the campaign rhetoric of Obama and failed to look at where the money was coming from. Well I didn’t but most of the rest of you did. The anti-war movement dissolved and the war continued. The left failed to push Obama on anything because they thought he was as sincere as Bernie Sanders. We can’t make the same mistake with Hillary.
If Hillary wins, I’m looking forward to fighting her for eight years. If Trump wins, I’m looking forward to an insurrection by next summer.
United States Senator: MIKE WORKMAN, A Sane Man with No Hope of Winning
James Lankford is a typical Republican cunt. Evangelical, supports expanding fossil fuel exploration and the Patriot Act, less restrictions on guns, barred the EPA from regulating emissions, opposes federal healthcare, abortion, and gay marriage. Probably a racist too. Scum of the earth.
The only other party in Oklahoma (like most of the US) organized enough to take down scumbags like this is the Democratic Party. So I’m voting for Mike Workman. Wants to raise the minimum wage, support education, supports alternative energy. He doesn’t have a snowball’s chance on the Senate floor of winning.
State Senator: JOHN WALDRON, An Enthusiastic Endorsement for a Teacher I Met in My Neighborhood
The greatest thing that’s happened in Oklahoma this election season is the “Teacher Caucus”. A bunch of educators fed up with education being continually cut in Oklahoma so the oil whores in government here can give their masters another sloppy tax break decided to run for office. This is grassroots politics, and this needs to keep happening. With or without Bernie Sanders’ “Our Revolution”, sane people like Mr. Waldron need to get involved in politics and kick the greedy bastards out. And it needs to happen yesterday.
I met John Waldon at a fundraiser held around the corner from my house – a fundraiser in schoolteacher fashion – a bake sale. Nice, smart guy, who is running on a simple but important issue – the fact that we need to educate our children. And one reason for that is so we don’t end up with another Trump.
Oklahoma has led the nation in cuts to education over the last decade, at 24%. (Despite that, Bernie Sanders won and Trump lost their respective primaries here.) As Waldon stated in the Tulsa World article linked above, “This is not a political question any more, it’s a social question. It’s about how we live our lives and kids’ abilities to go to decent schools.”
Out of everyone I’m voting for, John Waldon will be my conscience vote. It all comes down to education in this country. The destructive lack of it education, and the arrogant anti-intellectualism that goes with it angers me more than anything else about my country.
Tulsa County Sheriff: REX BERRY, Who is Not Vic Regalado
After former Tulsa County Sheriff Stanley Glanz’s buddy who he let play cop murdered an unarmed black man, in a moment of sanity, Tulsa decided it would be a good idea if there wasn’t a sheriff any more. There was a runoff election in the spring, and the people of Tulsa voted for Vic Regalado as the new sheriff.
The issue of transparency of Oklahoma law enforcement, including Tulsa County Sheriffs department, has been raised by the new Tulsa investigative journalism outlet, The Frontier. As interim sheriff, Regalado has already had issues with transparency, resulting in a lawsuit by the Frontier for the release of a video in which an inmate suffered a broken neck, back, and pelvis while in a jail cell. The department claimed he jumped into a sink from his bunk bed.
Regalado is almost certain to retain his position. Some of Rex Berry’s recent quotes to media all but conceded.
This is a Yes/No vote on whether individual justices should be retained. It’s hard to find out where judges stand on issues. Sometimes you can check out who is endorsing them and vote based on that. To go along with my Straight Democratic Ticket, I am voting based on whether a Democratic or Republican governor appointed these judges.
We have several referendums we can vote on here in Oklahoma. These will probably be the most important part of our ballot, since Republicans will probably win every other contest, but these could go either way.
776 “Oklahoma Death Penalty Amendment“: FUCK NO
This will give the morons that run this state more flexibility in abusing the death penalty. Since so many people have been wrongfully murdered by the state, I’m generally against the death penalty. And when morons like the Republicans who run this state have the power to kill people, there’s no fucking way I’m in favor of anything that has to do with giving them any power.
777 “Right to Farm”: NO
Just like “Right to Work” this is a corporate giveaway designed to look like it’s protecting small farmers. Like every fucking thing Oklahoma Republicans do, it’s giving corporations power to use the state as its whore. The Frontier asks “How is it the largest producer of pork in the world, owned by a Chinese firm, with its president a member of the Communist Party, is able to own 45,000 sows in Oklahoma? Are they helping pass State Question 777?”
779 “Raise the Sales Tax 1% for Public Education”: YES BUT..
…fuck that it’s just a way to tax the poor for a societal necessity by raising sales tax (a flat tax on everybody which hurts more the lower your income is). And there is some private charter school lobbying money involved in supporting this thing.. Charter schools are private schools that loot public treasuries. However, the State Question clearly states public education would receive the money, and that is desperately needed.
780 “Change Drug Possession/Petty Theft from Felonies to Misdemeanors”: FUCK YES
The penalties in this state for drug possession are fucking insane. The prisons are overcrowded. The state is broke. And stop fucking talking about how free our country is when we have the most people in prison in the world and in world history, by number and percentage of population, because we fucking insist on locking up people who are guilty of non-violent crimes. This costs taxpayer money both in the short and long term. A person with a felony conviction is more likely to rely on public services even after they do their time than a person with a misdemeanor. FUCK FUCKING FUCK YES on 780
781 Just Provides Funding for 780: FUCK YES AGAIN
790 “Enabling Evangelical Cunts to Loot the Treasury So They Can Put Their 10 Commandments Vomit All Over Public Parks and Buildings”: FUCK NO
No state money for religion. Religions should pay taxes too. Assholes. Fuck off. Read the Constitution. Shitheads want to turn this country into a Christian version of a middle eastern theocracy. You need to be kicked in the face.
792 “Liberalizing the Alcohol Laws”: YES
Groceries stores can sell beer and wine. This will eliminate this Oklahoma low point beer fucking shit beer. Low point beer is for evangelicals. 3.2% – it doesn’t even get you drunk. What kind of evil motherfucker invented that shit? There are decent arguments against this law, namely the privately owned liquor stores will have to compete with big grocery chains.. but they will still have a monopoly on all hard liquor, varieties of craft beer and wines. And since I drink mostly liquor an wine, I’ll still be shopping at my local liquor store. However low point beer is a terrible scourge. And I can’t wait to see the old men at the bar who are used to drinking a 3.2 Budweiser get shitfaced.