Five People Who Are Blocking Me on Twitter Who I’ve Never Interacted With, Much Less Heard Of

I’m a frustrating person to interact with online at times. In my leisure time, I often go on the Facebook pages of local news channels and troll low-information right-wing racist dipshit commenters. It’s fun. Oh, don’t look down on it. Like you don’t watch the Kardashians or whatever. I don’t watch junk TV. Trolling dipshits is my watching the Kardashians.

I understand the term “trolling” has a negative connotation. But it’s just a baiting technique, like trolling for fish. It can be used for good or evil. It can be used to mess with obnoxious politicians, and it can be used to harass Leslie Jones because you don’t want girls to dress up as Ghostbusters because you’re mad you’ve never seen a naked lady in real life (bye bye alt-righties. Thought I was gonna be on your side didn’t you?). Trolling can be used to make your friends laugh by baiting Trump voters, or it can be used to become the GOP candidate for President of the United States.

Anyone who does a job that requires an audience, is trolling for that audience, in a sense. All semi-famous to famous people are trolls. Some do it very eloquently and artistically, and some blog for Gawker.

So, if I am ripping on someone, and they block me, I get it. I’m frustrating. I’m a left wing guy with his balls flopping all over the place, looking at butts. I drink a lot and sometimes say words like cunt when I’m describing cunts like Rick Santorum and pussy when I’m describing cowardice (bye bye alt-lefties). I’m not “being edgy” like some goofy right wing comic trying to get a rise outta dem libtards. I’m speaking how I’ve always spoken, in a language people around me most of my life have been comfortable with, and there are millions of us in multiple countries who speak this way, and are good, decent people. I don’t overly use vulgarity like a rich girl blogger trying to be funny about her experience being fat on a plane.

But I am trying to use vulgarity less. Not for you, but for me. In fact, anyone who has reprimanded me about my use of certain terms has only delayed me my refrain from uttering them with my whore mouth. If a control freak wants to lay eggshells for me to walk on, they will be broken. And placed in compost, because I’m an environmentalist. Who calls oil company CEOs cunts.

Perhaps you’re not surprised when I tell you that in using Twitter, occasionally I find that people I have never had any interaction with are blocking me. For example, I am following  a debate, and one side of the debate is invisible. I click on the account that’s being replied to.  I discover that I’m being blocked by someone I’ve never heard of, or someone I have heard of but have never so much as commented on their articles, emailed, Facebooked, IMed, @’ed, nor contacted by phone, telegram, carrier pigeon, nor smoke signal. Nor have I so much as mentioned their name anywhere on the internet, no matter how dark the dungeon.

I would have liked to think I was some kind of notorious online badboy (could it get any lamer?). However that fantasy has evaporated. Apparently, this is a quite common experience. Most of the people being blocked by creepy random D-list celebs don’t seem to be the kind of person who would shoot you a dick pic instead of a hello on a dating site. In fact, from what i can tell, an equal number of men and women end up on block lists. And, I assume, men are more likely to do the harassing.

I have discovered that I most certainly am on a Twitter block list called The Block Bot. Probably because I tweeted the word cunt once or twice. Oh well, what the fuck do I care? It’s just… weird.

Another reason I imagine I made it on The Block Bot is I follow two intellectual right wingers: Jim Goad and Karen Straughan. I also used to watch William F Buckley. Do you understand that you can engage in ideas and not agree with them? And you can engage with people you don’t agree with? You can live with a registered Republican and not be shot to death for voting for Bernie Sanders? That’s called peaceful coexistance. And loading people onto a lame-ass block list because of simply engaging with someone you disagree with is anti-intellectual.

Let’s look at five Twits who have blocked me. None of whom I have a serious problem with, other than it being a slightly obnoxious thing to do, especially if you’re a writer who needs readers like me. In fact, most of these people from what I can tell are liberal bloggers. So to click on there accounts and see that I’m blocked, it’s strikes me as obnoxious.

It reminds me of a scene in Louie. Louie has a crazy old lady neighbor who likes to drop her clothes in front of him and then yell at him that he’s a pervert for looking. Aren’t those types of people lovely?

Well I didn’t GIVE A FUCK IN THE FIRST PLACE! All of these people are semi-famous, and you get the sense with actions like this, they’d like to feel more famous. Is blocking potential readers really the way to go about it?

You can run your Twitter handle through this to see if you’re helping semi-famous people feel more famous by pretending Twitter users who say “cunt” are out to steal their souls.

Here are five people blocking me who I’ve never interacted with or even mentioned once before this article:

1. Amanda Marcotte


A feminist blogger who writes for either Slate or Salon. One of those S blogs that liberal yuppies read. I’ve read three of her articles, and from what I recall she’s a very good writer, if not a bit obnoxious and seems to enjoy baiting her political opponents. From what I remember, I had agreed with two of the articles 100%, and one of the articles I partially agreed with. In one piece I remember she took down Chris Hedges for his stance on pornography, which is where I also part ways with Hedges. The last one I read last week, loved the article, then saw that it was by the lady who blocked me. I did not comment on any of her articles. Never followed or interacted with her on Twitter. Usually when I start to follow a writer, I’ll like most of their stuff, but there will be something that irks me about them that draws me in. Something that bothers me that I have to figure out about them.  I started reading Chomsky like that. But Chomsky didn’t block me. Because that was before the internet. Oh well.


2. Arthur Chu


Fuckin guy was on Jeopardy. Seems like kind of a prick. But I’ve never uttered his name aloud, let alone typed it on the internet before 20 seconds ago. Maybe I was watching Jeopardy with Redhead, and I said, “Guy seems like kind of a prick”.  I have no idea what else he does with his life. I wish him well. I bet Ken Jennings wouldn’t block me. Because Ken Jennings is a fucking bad ass who could kick my ass if I trolled him.


3. Shaun King


This was disappointing. The rest of them can fuck off, but this guy seems cool. I hadn’t heard of Shaun King before I was following a story around Twitter and found that he was blocking me. Then I see some of his articles being shared on Facebook, related to Black Lives Matter, an organization which I’ve not only not had anything negative to say about, but engaged in two civil disobedience actions with back in Pittsburgh. He seems like a good writer. And he looks like a regular guy too, not some yuppie trying to write about the working class. I’ll probably still read him.


4. Lexi Alexander 


No clue. Actress?


5. Steve Shives


HAHAHAHA who the fuck is this guy? I found him on the Twitter search I linked to above. Someone had a poll, Are You Blocked By Steve Shives? I check, and I am! What went wrong between us?

He looks like a guy who runs a craft brewery. I bet his wife is nice and smart and goes to the farmers’ market every week. Steve would probably ask when my band is playing, but then not make it because his kid got sick, and then think to apologize about it next time I saw him. I wanna be friends with this guy. But now he seems like a douche because he’s blocking me for no reason. Come on Shives! I bet his college buddies call him Shives.

Maybe I was kicked out of growler hours at his small batch brewery.  I better not go with the 10% imperial IPA using locally grown hops next time. Stick with your standard 6% SAL (Shives American Lager). Shives I know you’re getting ready for Oktoberfest, so don’t let it stress you, alright buddy? Water under the bridge.

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One Response to Five People Who Are Blocking Me on Twitter Who I’ve Never Interacted With, Much Less Heard Of

  1. Spaceman says:

    You sound like a turbofaggot


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